A New Journey Begins….

Just another step of FAITH in a long series of steps

Renewed confidence in the Lord… October 30, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hannah @ 8:02 pm

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

Since the first time I remember reading Psalm 9:10 I have loved it.  It is a comforting reminder that God sits on the throne and does not forsake His children, those that love and trust  Him.  He is a stronghold for the oppressed, a righteous  just judge, a merciful and holy King, a loving and wise Father, a generous and gracious God, an attentive and compassionate creator.  And if there is anything that reminds me of this, it is writing curriculum. 

Writing has always been something I’ve both enjoyed and hated.  At times writing comes naturally, and I definitely enjoy it more that speaking publicly.  However, it’s one thing to write my thoughts or opinions in a carefree manner, it’s a completely different thing to write something that will be read or used to proclaim truth to someone else.  In one, if I can say something stupid or foolish, it can be lovingly corrected by another and overlooked as “she’s young, immature and will learn with time.”  In the other, there is a weight that if something foolish or worse yet, incorrect is communicated, it has the ability to do damage to another… which of course is the downside (and by downside I mean complete fear of being judged harshly by almighty God, maker of heaven and earth). 

And yet even with that, I have found myself learning more and falling more in love with the gospel each time I have been asked to write something, whether a simple encouraging email, a parent info sheet or a curriculum to be used for years to come, on multiple campuses and at different churches.  The weight is there, so I long to make sure that what I write is true.  And I do realize that I am still young and that I do have a lot to learn.  I’m sure I will make mistakes from time to time and can only ask for grace in those moments.  However, I’m beginning (and I do mean only beginning as I am certain that this will be a journey for me) to recognize the fear that I have of communicating incorrectly has many times kept me from communicating at all.  despite that again and again the Lord has given me opportunities to write and proclaim His name as holy or used it as a resource others about how He wired children, reminding me once again that as I submit to Him, it is His words that will flow forth and not my own.  I often forget this and even last night, He had to remind me that it is absolutely necessary that I find my joy and confidence in Him alone, for everything else falls short and will leave me disappointed and longing.  Everything I have is a gift from God to point me to His glory anyway, so why not use those gifts to point others to His fame as well?

Lord, please rid me of myself that You might be made known and glorified among Your people.  Let me count it all as loss, that by any means necessary, I might know You and the power of the resurrection of the dead.  Thank you for your Son, may Your name be lifted high. Amen             

 

At home at last…. October 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hannah @ 6:02 pm

I don’t think I’ve been home-sick since I was 12 yrs, but this week I was ready to be home!  We learned more than our brains could retain at the New Staff Training for GCM, but fortunately we were given several large binders with all our notes and the info we needed to remember.  I would have been lost without the provided written notes.  

We had a great time bonding together as a team.  I have grown confident that the Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He called Susan, Jen, Alisha and myself to go to Guatemala.  I am also certain that the Lord is bringing to me to a place were I must rely on Him alone.  I am at the end of my own strength.  I need Him more now than I thought I did a week ago – and that’s a good thing.  I will always need Him more today than I did yesterday and hopefully will need Him more tomorrow than I do today. 

At this point the next step is that we need to be approve.  We will have a phone interview with the HR manager in early November and from there we will be able to begin developing our Ministry Team.

 

Hello From GCM! October 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hannah @ 10:11 pm
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We’ve now finished day three of GCM training.  It has been one of the most intense trainings of my life thus far.  So far we’ve sat in roughly 29 hours of teaching and workshops and have 40+ hours left.  I use hours, only because when I first thought a week of training, I expected the normal 8 hours days, I failed to realized it would be 13 training hour days.  It has been good though.  I had what was considered a “second interview” even though I haven’t actually had the first interview, tonight with the HR Manager, Angie.  She has been super nice and encouraging all week – in fact the whole GCM staff has been.  I really like how they have taught through the lens of the Bible and talked about the importance of having a Ministry Team, rather that just “supporters.”  More than anything I think I have not only known a peace that I know is no of myself this week, but also, have been able to see and dream clearly without the daily distractions I have at home.  I love being at home, but there’s just something about pulling away that refreshes my soul. 

Thank you Lord that you are kind and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love!        

 

Joy Comes in the Morning October 9, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hannah @ 9:22 pm

As I finally begin to wrap things up for a week to head to training for Guatemala, I am finding myself more and more excited to go.  I know that in my last blog I was in a place of mourning and perhaps I’ll return there at some point during the next year… to be honest I feel like I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions from fear to mounring, mourning to joy and excitement.  This week the Lord has been so gracious in reminding me, not once but several times, that He is the provider of all things and not only can, but will provide far more than I can imagine during this time as I seek to follow Him alone.  

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
 2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

 3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who a keeps you will not slumber.
 4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

 5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your  shade on your right hand.
 6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

 7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.

8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 121

 

 

A Season of Mourning October 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Hannah @ 1:22 pm
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Let me first say that I am so excited about the future… I have so many hopes and dreams about what is and what could be that sometimes I just have to stop thinking about it because my head is spinning at the things that could or will be.  And that excites me.  However, despite that I have found myself in a season of mourning. 

It’s about the time of the year, when most of the people I know begin to plan for the upcoming year.  My year on the other hand,  is more or less already planned.  Even last night at FM360 friends were talking about it, they were praying for it, and planning, thinking and processing.  I on the hand simply sat back and let the knowledge that everything they are talking about no longer applies to me soak in.  I won’t be here in October of 2010 when we launch the Dallas FM360.  I won’t be there to see the changes or how community looks different then than it does now.  I won’t be a part of designing or setting up the scene and I won’t be there to plan for the children by staffing workers.  In fact, if anything, there will likely be someone else that comes in to do my job and do it better than I do it.  I won’t get to see so many of the children I’ve known for so long grow up during my seaon Guatemala and I’ll miss out on so much that happens with our families.  I think about Audrey starting 1st grade, Taylor learning to walk, Lauren becoming a young lady, Cassie and Nick in middle school, Lily surprising Josh, and I could go on and on and one….    And that’s makes me sad.  I know that I can’t be in two places at once, let alone two different countries.  I’m beginning to realize that in those moments of mourning the things I’ll miss, my eyes and heart are blind to the things that the Lord is allowing me to take part in.  I mean, honestly, I know in my heart that the things I’ll be able to take part in, will be absolutely amazing!  God hasn’t left us to fend for ourselves, but rather He is leading and guiding us to MORE of HIM.  What on earth (or in my case, in Texas) could be better than that? 

It’s funny how silly skits planned for kids, can and do still apply to us as adults… well at least me as an adult.  Last night at FM360 the skit talked about obedience to our earthly parents is a picture of our obeidance as children of God the Father.  It was a game show, and the game was see if the child would listen and obey the father by staying in the “Circle of Blessing.”  Then the game show host would tempt the child to come out of the circle for a prize.  For the first child, it didn’t take too long before the host had lured the child out of the circle, but the loving father of the second child, gently and lovingly talked with his son about how to and the importance of staying in the circle.  The child though tempted and at times longing to leave for the “prize”  had a close relationship with the father and remained steadfast and obedient.  They in turn, won the game show and received the rich blessings of remaining in the circle.  I know that listening to the Father is the best way.  He knows what is best, He gives what is best and most importantly He IS what is best.  That’s the steadfast love and confidence in Christ that I need to have and know in order to follow Him in obedience.  I’m so thankful for His graciousness and love that seals me for Himself.    

And at the end of the day, I know that I could easily argue that “it’s only for a year” and that might make it better, yet I know the truth that I don’t actually know how long it will be.  The first time I came back wanting to move there, I told Matt that I would be willing to go for 5 years.  The second time I thought “well, 5 years isn’t really very long… maybe I would go for 10….” It was at that point that realized that I should just give it completely over to the Lord so that I didn’t plan the next 20 years of my life on my own. That, without a doubt would go very very badly – I’m sure of it.  So I’m going for a year, knowing that I could come back at the end of the year to start my life over once again, or I could come back in a year to visit family and friends before going back for another season.  Until then, I will simply hold fast to the Father and follow where He leads.