And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10
Since the first time I remember reading Psalm 9:10 I have loved it. It is a comforting reminder that God sits on the throne and does not forsake His children, those that love and trust Him. He is a stronghold for the oppressed, a righteous just judge, a merciful and holy King, a loving and wise Father, a generous and gracious God, an attentive and compassionate creator. And if there is anything that reminds me of this, it is writing curriculum.
Writing has always been something I’ve both enjoyed and hated. At times writing comes naturally, and I definitely enjoy it more that speaking publicly. However, it’s one thing to write my thoughts or opinions in a carefree manner, it’s a completely different thing to write something that will be read or used to proclaim truth to someone else. In one, if I can say something stupid or foolish, it can be lovingly corrected by another and overlooked as “she’s young, immature and will learn with time.” In the other, there is a weight that if something foolish or worse yet, incorrect is communicated, it has the ability to do damage to another… which of course is the downside (and by downside I mean complete fear of being judged harshly by almighty God, maker of heaven and earth).
And yet even with that, I have found myself learning more and falling more in love with the gospel each time I have been asked to write something, whether a simple encouraging email, a parent info sheet or a curriculum to be used for years to come, on multiple campuses and at different churches. The weight is there, so I long to make sure that what I write is true. And I do realize that I am still young and that I do have a lot to learn. I’m sure I will make mistakes from time to time and can only ask for grace in those moments. However, I’m beginning (and I do mean only beginning as I am certain that this will be a journey for me) to recognize the fear that I have of communicating incorrectly has many times kept me from communicating at all. despite that again and again the Lord has given me opportunities to write and proclaim His name as holy or used it as a resource others about how He wired children, reminding me once again that as I submit to Him, it is His words that will flow forth and not my own. I often forget this and even last night, He had to remind me that it is absolutely necessary that I find my joy and confidence in Him alone, for everything else falls short and will leave me disappointed and longing. Everything I have is a gift from God to point me to His glory anyway, so why not use those gifts to point others to His fame as well?
Lord, please rid me of myself that You might be made known and glorified among Your people. Let me count it all as loss, that by any means necessary, I might know You and the power of the resurrection of the dead. Thank you for your Son, may Your name be lifted high. Amen
