A New Journey Begins….

Heavenly Father,

Thou hast placed me in the church which they Son purchased by his own blood.  Add grace to grace that I may live worthy of my vocation.

I am a voyager across life’s ocean; Safe in heaven’s ark, may I pass through a troubled world into the harbour of eternal rest.

I am a tree of the vineyard thou hast planted.  Grant me not to be barren, with worthless leaves and wild grapes; Prune me of useless branches; Water me with the dews of blessing.  I am part of the Lamb’s bride, the church. Help me to be true, faithful, chaste, loving, pure, devoted; Let no strong affection wantonly dally with the world. 

May I live high above a love of things temporal, sanctified, cleansed, unblemished, hallowed by grace, thy love my fullness, thy glory my joy, thy precepts my pathway, thy cross my resting place.

My heart is not always a flame of adoring love, But, resting in thy Son’s redemption, I look forward to the days of heaven, where no langour shall oppress, no iniquities chill, no mists of unbelief dim the eye, no zeal ever tires. 

Father, these thoughts are the stay, prop, and comfort of my soul. 

(The Valley of Vision)

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I recently bought The Valley of Vision.  I have read only 5-6 of the prayers but after the first one my heart was being stirred to know the Lord is a deep rich way.  My hope is that this is one of the things the Lord has in store as I continue to follow Him on this journey to Guatemala.  I won’t lie, there have been several times I’ve wondered if I’m doing the right thing – Did I really hear the Lord correctly?  I’ve struggled in inviting people to join in what God is doing.  It’s easy for me to give of myself to others, but I’ve always (yes, for as long as I can remember, though I’m sure it wanted this way as an infant or toddler) struggled to invite people to give of themselves for my sake.  The Lord began killing this in me when my older sister invited me to come and live with them.  He continued killing it when the family I’m now living with invited me to stay with them.  Again, when someone I didn’t even know, but only had heard my story gave to GCM to support the ministry in Guatemala.  And again, when another family invited me to live with them with I return from Guatemala.  Time and time again throughout this process the Lord has reminded me or confirmed to me that I am following Him and this is the path He has placed me on.  He has daily reminded me that He cares about my physical and spiritually needs in addition to caring about the needs of all His children and those that do not know Him.  Yet even with this, I find myself constantly fighting again the thoughts and fears that He won’t come through this time.  This time, He won’t provide – seriously, Hannah?  It is God who saves, God who calls, God who equips, God who sends, God who provides.  For God to withhold His provision now, would be to deny Himself of the glory and praise due His name. 

Surely He will be glorified and praised in heaven, on earth, in Texas and in Guatemala.                   

Below is a picture of a sweet little Flor at Fundaninos – the children’s home I’ll be serving at while in Guatemala.  Please pray for her, her brother Mateo and all the children and staff at Fundaninos.  

This past weekend GCM sent four GCM Trainers to Dallas to have a little Follow-Up Conference for several new GCM missionaries in Texas that are still in the process of building up a Ministry Team and raising support. 

To be completely honest I had a really bad attitude going into it. There was nothing in me that wanted to spend my Friday and Saturday listening to what I assumed would be the same things I heard for 8 days at training back in October.  Yet I knew it was my heart that was in the wrong place and that the Lord was in the middle of teaching me something.  I prayed a lot about it and it slowly seemed easier to muster up the strength to go, although I still didn’t want to. 

Once I was there I was surprised by the approach they took. 

First thing that they started talking about that hit me were “lies.” What lies have I been believing about this process?  About going to Guatemala?  About my life, my relationship with God, God’s character?  I realized that the biggest thing that I had to voice to myself and to God was that even though I was fully aware and believed that God COULD do anything He wanted to do, I didn’t consistently walk in the faith that He is WILLING to work in my life and in the process I’m in.  I knew that He had called me and He worked out the steps hat I must take to follow Him to Guatemala, but I lacked the faith that He would go with me there. 

Then, for the rest of the weekend, I found myself continually coming back to 1 Peter 5:6-11.  “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because  he cares for you.  Be sober-minded;  be watchful. Your  adversary the devil  prowls around  like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.  And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore,  confirm, strengthen, and establish you.  To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” 

Saturday, I had a great opportunity to sit and talk with one of the Trainers and pray.  It was extremely refreshing.  Even though we walked through and talked about the financial steps needed to get me to Guatemala, and figured out that most of the goal is very much a goal that God will need to meet because I am completely unable to meet it in my own strength I do play an active role in pressing on toward all that God has called me to.  So I play my part and pray for the strength to do it well for His glory.  Please join me in praying that God would show Himself mighty as we draw near to Him and seek Him first in all that we do. 

Tomorrow, I’m going to practice Sabbath.  A day to wait upon and remember the Lord.  A day to rest in His goodness and holiness, and disconnect from the world.  It’s a day I’m going to do my best to disconnect and press into Him.  Disconnecting is something that I have always struggled with.  I feel a responsiblity to work, be available and respond to those around me.  However, in doing so I lose sight of who He is and what He is calling me to…. Himself.

This week the Father has reminded me of His faithfulness.  As I was thinking about it last night and realized that I need only to look a my own faithlessness and I am overwhelmed with God’s grace.  In the moments I’m discouraged in the process that the Lord has me on, He reminds me of His faithfulness by doing something unexpected. Even something that is small, but unexpected.