I thought of something last night and now…. I can’t remember for the life of me what I wanted to say!  I guess that’s what happens when I think of something and don’t write it down and just roll over in bed thinking “surely I’ll remember in the morning.” Blah! Oh well…. perhaps I’ll think of it tonight as I fall asleep and actually remember to write it down.

In exactly 2 weeks I will be packing to catch an early morning flight to go back to the states.  I know I’ll be packing (or hanging out with friends and THEN packing, because well, I’m a procrastinator… and that’s what we do).  I’ll have to admit there’s a weird feeling that comes to me when I remind my self that I’m going back to the States.  In many, many ways, I feel like I’m just not finally at home in Guatemala.  Finally figuring things out and fully engaging in Guatemala.  Part of me is sad that it took so long and other parts of me wonder if God was just laying a lot of ground work… working on my own heart to prepare me for the future.  He’s always doing that.  He molds and forms, breaks and builds up.  He has taken things so that I would love Him more…. and left other things to remind me to trust and depend on Him alone.  To even try to make a list of the things that God has been teaching me and reminding me of since I first moved here seems completely overwhelming and I don’t know where to start.  But it’s not about me, it’s about Him.  He has not only moved in my heart, but also those around me.

Under Susan’s leadership He has raised up women to lead in ministry to other women. Under Alisha’s leadership, He has formed a youth ministry.  And through me (I’m very hesitant to even say exactly because I never fully know) and the volunteers I get to work with He has continued to speak truth to His children, He has laid the groundwork for more family ministry through Casa de Libertad and He has comforted those that didn’t realized how much they hurt inside.  I could be satisfied with that.  I have been able to be a part of a lot of ministry this year — sometimes without even realizing it.  But there is nothing that I have done… I don’t think that God NEEDED me to come to Guatemala, to Casa de Libertad or Fundaninos to do some amazing and huge thing.  God can love and care for His children just fine without me… but I’m grateful that He has allowed me to take part.  I am hopeful that there is more to come in the future… more child to hug and hold, more lessons to be planned, prepared and taught, more coffee’s with new friends and late night dinner’s with old friends. All in all… more life to be lived in Guatemala, among the people and living in the culture.

Now for the first time, 2 weeks before I leave for a season, I find myself craving the things that are “Guatemalan.”  My friend’s have taught me well.  I know where to go to get supplies, where to buy tortillas or pineapple, and I know how to ask for things at the store (and only sometimes find myself confused), and I can follow directions and not be completely lost.  I’ve learned how to lean on the Church Body for help, how to give my opinion as needed (yes, Francisco, perhaps someday I will become that loud, opinionated, Guatemalan woman you told me about 8 months ago!), I know when to push for something and when to trust that the Spirit will do the work.

Now

Am I going home… or is it visiting the States? Either way, going to Texas for a few months seems a little nerve-racking at the moment.  I know that things have changed… for example, I’m returning to a home group that had 2 babies when I left and only 1 (I think) family that was pregnant, now many months later there are new families and I’ve lost count of how many new babies.  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to see each and every person and hug their neck! However, it’s different.  My family has changed too… I have a new niece, my baby brother is in college and I can think of 2 people I struggle to see old enough to be in high school both with their own car and driving.  Things change, people change, I’ve changed.  I’m praying that it will be an easy transition.  Please pray with me…. and don’t be too surprised if I run a little late, kiss you to say hello (and good-bye), add in a little Spangish or am a little shocked when the bill at dinner shows up at the table before we’ve asked for it.  You might think that I’m nervous about fund-raising again.  I’m not.  I know that God provided in the past and will do so again… He might even use YOU to do it.

See you soon Texas!  And for those coming on The Village Church team tomorrow — I’ll see you in about 24 hours!

Right about now in Dallas, there’s a team of 8 women at the airport getting ready to come to Guatemala to serve for the next week or so.  I know that they are excited and ready to be here.  They have already endured a cancelled flight and re-booking.  I’m sure that the Lord has a lot in store for them.  They are working with Fundaninos and a ministry in the City called Cadaninos that serves in a government home for children and adults with special needs.

If you would like to read more about who they are and what they will be doing, you can find their blog updates at The Village Church Mission’s blog here.  If you think about it this week, please be praying for the team and the children and staff that they will be ministering to.  Thanks!

So today at Fundaninos I took my camera — I don’t always, but today was the day — while I was there Gaby, Yoselyn and Evelyn asked if they could use it to take a few pictures (thankfully I have a small but sturdy camera!).  After Gaby promised she would take care of it AND bring it back, I agreed knowing full well that there was no telling what pictures I would get back upon the return of my camera.  Needless to say, I thought you might enjoy it as well. 

I feel like one of the main things that I have been learning (being reminded of) lately is that the Lord will fight for His children.  Lately it has been small things that seem big, but it has reminded me of times in the past and times coming that that either the Lord has fought for me or I need Him to fight for me.  I don’t need to worry, fret, stress, or become consumed by the battle — It’s the Lord’s battle and He has already won; I need only to trust Him. 

I looked up “Lord will fight” in my ESV study Bible and was reminded that over and over again, the Lord fought for His people.

A few of the truths that stood out for me personally:

• I don’t need to speak unless He tells me to.
  • Ex. 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”        
• God has fought in the past and He’ll fight again.
  • Deut. 1:30 “The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes,”
• I don’t need to fear.
  • Josh. 10:25 “And Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid or dismayed; be strong and courageous. For thus the Lord will do to all your enemies against whom you fight.”
• The Lord goes with me. 
  • o   Jer. 1:19 “They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you.”

 What is something that the Lord has been teaching you lately?

 As I have been thinking about what the next season in Guatemala holds, I have thought a lot about the process that God took me through to get me to this point.  It has been an amazing journey so far – God has done so much in my heart over the past 2 years and I’m so grateful for everything He has allowed me to be apart of.  However, this journey hasn’t involved just me.  It has included amazing prayer prayers, friends, family and supporters.  I really couldn’t do it without each and every one of them (and you!).  As I prepare to return to Guatemala for a second term I am back to raising support again.  “Are you nervous?” you might ask… well, no I am not.  I’m not nervous because I have no doubt that I am where I am supposed to be, no doubt that God has called me to be here, and I have seen that confirmed continually over the past few years and even within the past few weeks.  I have seen God’s faithfulness and how God cares for His children.  I am also confident that just as the Church provided for Paul, God is also raising up partners in the gospel to go with me into Guatemala.

Please be praying with me for the individuals and families that God is calling to go to Guatemala as partners.  While I can’t go alone, I know that God is going before me to prepare hearts as well as rising up those He is calling to go with me.  Is God calling you?

Over the past few days I have found myself reflecting on the promises of God.  There are so many! And because of who God is He always keeps His promises.  There is so much comfort in that knowledge.  When life is hard – there’s a promise for that… when things are going well – there’s a promise for that too.  For ALL the promises of God find their yes in HIM.(2 Cor 1:20) 

A few of my fav’s this week:

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.  Psalm 34:19

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. Psalm 37:4-5

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way, though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. Psalm 37:23-24

I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Hebrews 13:5b

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9a

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold the new has come. 2 Cor. 5:17

For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord.  Jer. 30:17a

I have loved you with an everlasting Lod; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jer. 31:3b

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

“You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off, ” fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:9b-10

 It’s always a good day when I make it out to Fundaninos and today was no exception.  I left with a full heart and loving those kids more than I thought would be possible.  It started with the cutest sight ever on my way there.  I was stopped behind a chicken bus when I saw three kids hop off with their school backpacks.  There was what looked like the older brother (say 7-8 years?) with his two little sisters.  He walked with his arms around them as if he was trying to protect them.  It was so cute I thought my heart would melt right out of my chest! It amazes me how young kids are here when they “grow up” and take care of things. 

When I got to Fundaninos, the peques were the first that I found. Angel had received his growth hormone shot… needless to say that because of said shot he was a little more calm and still for the rest of the time that I was there. 

I finally met Eddie the newest little 4 year old to Fundaninos, who the police found looking for help very beat up.  I’ve hear from several that they have never seen a kid come in as bad of shape as sweet Eddie, but the Lord redeems and rescues and when I met him today Eddie was all giggles.  After he met me, anytime someone else came into the room he would introduce me as if we had been friends forever and no one else knew me…. Sadly for him the other kids didn’t seem to care as they him a look that seemed to say “we’ve known her a lot longer than you” and came to give me a hug and greet me like normal.   

And Emna wanted a picture like normal.  It has been fun to see her grow.  My first time to Fundaninos in 2009 she was so small and barely walking around, now she does what she can to “hang with the big kids.” 

Then when it was time to go I said good-bye and Omar took my keys from my hands, walked me to my car, unlocked it, opened my door and rode with me down to the gate to open it and let me out so I wouldn’t have to do it alone.  What a sweetie! He’ll make a great catch for some lucky lady in about 10 years….

And just because the twins were adopted 2 weeks ago….

On Good Friday my team and I went with our good friends to a nearby town to look at the alfombras (carpets) that were made in the streets.  It’s a tradition here in Guatemala to color sawdust and make gorgeous carpets with beautiful designs in the streets as a symbol of laying out the palm branches for Jesus.  men, women, and children work together to make these alfombras and then the evening of Good Friday there is a processional that starts and ends at the local Catholic church with huge wooden floats that tell the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection.  There are almost 100 people carrying each large float on their shoulders.  It was a fun, yet sobering experience to take part on Friday and yet my favorite part of the whole weekend was being reminded that the only reason that we celebrate Christ’s death is because of the resurrection.  Jesus was nailed to the cross, dying a horrible death, for my sins and the sins of the world… He was buried, BUT after 3 days, He rose from the dead overcoming death and the grave!  What exciting news!  It brings so much joy to my heart!!

Here are a few pictures.  I hope you enjoy them.

I’ve been reading a book called “The Hole in Our Gospel” by Richard Stearns.  So far I have really enjoyed it and found it to be a sweet reminder and a constant stirring of many of the reasons I first wanted to come to Guatemala.  In the chapter that I am currently reading Stearns quotes a prayer by Bob Pierce, Founder of World Vision. 

“Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.”

I’ve heard this quote before, I’ve even prayed it, but then Stearns expanded on it and it’s really stuck.  He’s talking about how it’s so easy to forget the children in other parts of the world dying, because they aren’t our children or children we know. 

“His prayer was a crying out to God, that God would break his heart yet again and again, because if He didn’t, Bob knew that he could not love somebody else’s kids the way that God did.  No man or woman can unless God breaks that individual’s heart.  Only then can he or show—or we—care as God cares and love as He loves.  That’s why we must pray constantly that God will soften our hearts so we see the world the way He sees it.

I pray that God truly would continue to break my heart for His children.  It’s easy for me to love and break for the children I know, be it in Texas or in Guatemala… at a church or an orphanage, but I want my heart to break really break for them.  To break over the sin that causes pain, the lies that people believe and bondage of fear, insecurity or pride that blind people to the gospel.  If I’m honest, my heart doesn’t break for these things often enough… even living in Guatemala, I can grow numb to the pain and heartache around me.  I pray that I don’t grow numb, that I don’t forget, or become blind to them just because I’m surrounded by it.