It’s funny to be at a crossroads when you really didn’t expect it. Don’t get me wrong, my time has been good and I am confident that God is still in control. I was surprised by the turn of events that led me back to life in the states – He wasn’t. I thought I would be spending my life in Guatemala and to say that it doesn’t still hurt to not be there from time to time would be a lie, but I rest in the fact that God has this. I know I can cling to that, but it’s just a weird place to be – at a crossroads when you thought your path and direction were certain. There have been seasons that I expected to be at a turn, planned for a bend, a twist or even to jump over a river and crawl through a ditch. Each time God has been faithful and good. I think one of the most influential… or at least memorable things that have been said to me in the last 3.5 months came from an old friend from college. One evening while I was on the road to an “I-can’t-do-this/why-is-this-happening?” place, he said “You’re stronger than you realize and are on the same path you have been on all along. It’s scary when there are unexpected turns along the way, but the destination, the reward is constant.” Looking back I’m not sure if it’s what he said, when he said it or the fact that it came out of his mouth that has caused me to remember those words, but either way I always (and especially at that moment) need a good reminder that in the end is more of Christ and none of this is a surprise to Him – even at an unexpected turn.
The path still isn’t clear… even my back up plan isn’t going how I would have thought, but pieces are starting to fall into place or at least I’m hopeful that they might be starting to fall into place. I have a job interview on Tuesday. It’s my second one since I found out that I would be in the states for however long the Lord tells me to be here. If I were honest I would say that I’m nervous, yet hopeful. It’s at a hospital. It’s a position that would not only allow me to use my education, but would more than likely be an open door to unexpected ministry from time to time – something I really didn’t think I would get to be a part of again. And it’s something that I would say would have to be of the Lord, because I would have never even thought to search for the position. There’s also a possibility that I might have the opportunity to move back to the area with all my community – nothing certain yet, but like I said I’m hopeful that things are starting to fall into place. Waiting is always the hardest part for me, but Advent is a good reminder to trust God. He is always true to His promises.
